weekenders.

 

This weekend Jeffrey and I stayed a night at the Sou'wester. It was so much fun and even the drive was pleasant. It felt really nice just to know we were heading somewhere to relax. Jeffrey brought all the supplies we needed to make our favorite spaghetti for dinner. We walked around the neighborhood in the freezing cold. We drove(!) down onto the beach to watch the sunset. We read books for hours. We watched Amélie. We talked about lots of different things, serious and lighthearted and everything in between. It was the most restorative, lovely, relaxing little trip.

We had to cut our trip a little short due to a snowstorm that was heading toward Portland, so we packed up a little early and drove back to the city. At home, we lit candles and made curry and watched Superstore and today we made pancakes and cookies and spent the entire day in our pajamas. It was the perfect weekend and I'm so glad for that.

dear love of my life,

We've been you and me for a long time. We've moved in the muggy Florida heat together. We've trekked across the country together. We've perched in the middle of Mt. Hood and watched the sun stretch over the peak together. We've walked down Charleston streets in the muggy midnight together. We've hiked through Cataloochee in 19º mornings together. We've found treasures in middle-of-nowhere antique stores together. We've rescued a dog together. We've planned a wedding together. We've rearranged furniture together. We've made meals together. We've been happy together and sad together and we've changed together. 

I've spent a large part of my life with you by my side. How lucky that is. We all find love in different ways, and it can look different for so many different people. And that's lucky, too. It's lucky that we can all arrive at love in different ways. You and me, we have had the immense fortune of literally growing up together. And we'll continue to grow up together for the rest of our lives.

You have been my very best friend through so many different parts of my life — parts where I felt strong and capable and parts where I felt really small and like I needed some help pulling myself up from whatever struggle I was wallowing in. Parts where I felt sure of myself and ready for the next challenge and parts where I felt confused and terrified. And through all of that, we've counted on one another: to be the voice of reason, to be the one who was strong and willing, to be the one who found the words when the other could not, to be the one who could find clarity in a murky situation, to be the one who reassured, to be the one who comforted, and loved, and cared.

This is what it means to love someone. It means finding the beautiful parts and lifting them up and reveling in them and being so very thankful that those parts exist. It also means staring the ugly parts in the face and claiming them and loving those and being so very thankful that those parts also exist. It means recognizing that both beautiful and ugly are necessary to make a human being whole. And I am so grateful to love the whole you because I wouldn't be the whole me without the whole you.

I love you more today than I ever thought I could. More than the teenage girl who found the daisies on her doorstep. More than the 22-year-old who found post-it notes littered around the apartment after you left for a two-month residency in Montana. More than the 23-year-old who stood and said the vows that so many other beautiful people have said long before we said them. And I will love you more tomorrow and the day after that and forever and ever after that because that's what it means to find the love of your life. Thanks for being mine.

XOXO,
Rox

charleston, south carolina.

walking south of Broad after the entire city was asleep // getting ice cream in the freezing cold // cracking up in way too quiet Black Tap // cookies on the top porch // leon's at 4 in the afternoon for soft serve (with sprinkles) // BBQ in the middle of a crowd // walking the Battery // cupcakes on the side of Sugar // sandwiches on Queen Street sidewalk // window boxes, window boxes, window boxes // chai at St. Alban while it poured // hot biscuits with all the fixins' // sewing shop with all the best, old stuff // endless historical markers and stopping to read all of them // happy, sweet, slow spring break

a stormy picnic.

During spring break, I set a few personal goals for myself. I realized that I was spending most of my energy on my job and wasn't leaving time for much else. The result was me becoming a skeleton of myself, which served absolutely no one — in my work or in my personal life. So upon returning from spring break, I told myself that I needed to do some more things just for enjoyment.

We're lucky to live in an extremely beautiful place and yet we're so quick to take it for granted. One night, Jeffrey prepared our dinner to-go and we ate it at the waterfront park at the end of our street. Perhaps our favorite part was that a storm was rolling in and we had (perfectly safe) front row seats. xo

dearest love of my life,

Today we have been married for one year. My heart is full. Each day I am surprised to become closer to you. I never knew I could know someone in all the ways I know you. And I never knew that someone could know me in all the ways you know me. You have taught me more in this one year of marriage than I could have ever hoped to learn.

It is still a wonder to me that you chose me. And that you choose me everyday. Thank you for loving me, even in my unlovable moments. Thank you for giving to me every single day. It appears that your well is endless.

Life with you is an adventure. You have taught me to take the leap and have confidence in my heart and gut, a lesson I must learn from you over and over again. You speak words of kindness that uplift my soul and fill me with sunshine. And your thoughts are of me, constantly.

Your light heart is so good for me, especially on days when I am thinking too much. When I look at you, I almost feel like I could burst. My memories with you are so fond and so sweet and it is a gift I cherish daily to know that I will be married to you for the rest of my life.

Sometimes things feel bleak. You are my constant reminder that it will pass, that a bright spot can always be found in the darkest of moments.

You are my bright spot.

To you, my love and to the best first year of marriage I could have ever dreamt up and more.

Yours always,
Rox