getting happily married on a humble budget.

Dear readers, Today I'm writing to talk to you about getting married. Aw, sweet wedded bliss! Holy matrimony is such a beautiful thing and the planning process can be beautiful, too. These days, I believe the wedding industry makes consumers feel as though they must spend a fortune to have a ceremony and reception that celebrates the love between two amazing people. I disagree. A wedding will be beautiful no matter what you spend, simply because of what it represents, so don't let the industry get you down!

Note: If you have the funds and desire to host an elaborate, extravagant, blow-out party, then please be my guest! This post is not meant to condemn the choices of others or make you feel as though your deepest dreams and wishes for your wedding day should be left at the wayside while you pursue a totally different path that doesn't align with your vision in the first place. Instead, I want this post to be a beacon for a couple, like us, who were given a budget that was perfectly generous and kind, but were made to feel otherwise in comparison to today's expectations for what a wedding should be. (By the way, a wedding is a celebratory ceremony that binds two people together in a beautiful and life-changing commitment. Its goal is to celebrate the two people who are making the choice to be life partners forever. Please don't forget this in the process.)

With all that said, I hope you'll approach this post with an open mind and remember that no matter your choices, your wedding day will be a beautiful reflection of the both of you and will result in the most amazing commitment between two people, lovingly crafted for one another in a divine and perfect way.

My first suggestion is to plan your wedding together. In today's society, the wedding is typically targeted at the bride, and while I think that's quite lovely, I believe that it's a bit misguided. The wedding is meant to celebrate the love of two people, and I think it's really magical when the planning can reflect that. Plus, planning together can be such an intimate and beautiful way to begin your life journey together. Again, this is merely my suggestion and there is no rule book for wedding planning (I wonder if I'm going to feel the need to explain myself after every paragraph!).

I'd like to give you five pieces of blanket advice that can really relate to and help to guide any wedding planning, but were especially helpful to us and our modest budget. This advice can be modified to meet your needs, so take it or leave it and, by all means, please make it your own!
1. Make decisions. The decision to plan a wedding to celebrate your nuptials comes with a slew of other decisions that will make your head spin. This was the most overwhelming part for me. I felt that no matter how many decisions I made, there really was no end in sight. My advice is that you go with your gut and make decisions based on what makes you and your new spouse happy. When Jeffrey and I made decisions, we almost never backtracked and we felt that much better when we could cross something else off the list. The longer we mulled over something, the longer it became a burden or a frustration and wedding planning should not be like that. It should be exciting and fun! So trust your initial reactions and move forward from there.
2. Start big, get small. Determine your budget and then decide what you want to give the most money to. From there, lay out your groundwork. We knew that we would end up spending most of our money on the venue, the photographer, and the food. Then, we moved step by step to flush out ways to make our budget the most sensical and logical for us after we had set aside money for the biggest things. By the way, your big ticket items might not look exactly like ours. For instance, I know plenty of brides who spend a larger portion on their dress and I think that's absolutely wonderful! Do what's best for you! (If you're having trouble even picturing your budget, programs like this are extraordinarily helpful and can make you feel a great sense of peace with the money you have to spend.)

3. Just ask! Here's something I think most people don't understand about the wedding planning industry: Most vendors know that they're working with human beings who are embarking on one of the most important moments in their lives and they want to help. Imagine that! We asked several questions throughout the planning process and often times people were willing to meet us halfway, whether that was monetarily or just helping us to make our vision a reality. For example, I asked several wedding photographers if they could work with our budget, and many of them tried really hard to make that happen. Ultimately, we chose one photographer, but we were pleasantly surprised by how often people truly wanted to accommodate us. (P.S. This won't happen every time and that's just the way it is, but put yourself out there and you will be rewarded by the kindness of others.)
4. Be resourceful. If you do have a small budget for planning your wedding, then there will be times when you have to work harder and think harder and be willing to see things differently. This is a blessing! You will be so grateful for your wedding and you will be invested in all the details. It really does provide for an intimate and exciting experience! I knew from the beginning that I wanted our space to be filled with flowers (and Jeffrey agreed with this vision), but flowers can be expensive! We opted for flowers from Trader Joe's (with the exception of bouquets and boutonnieres)— which we bought at a very reasonable price — and they worked out marvelously. We chose the flowers we wanted (from the colors to the types) and put them in the bottles ourselves. We also received our flowers on a Thursday and were married on a Sunday. For your own peace of mind, I would not recommend such a long stretch, but this is just proof that you can think creatively and have things work out wonderfully. My sister, mom, and I also made all of the desserts. Thankfully, my sister graciously offered to be in charge of the planning and decorations for that, which was a burden lifted from our shoulders and added a special touch to the sweet spread. You will be blown away by what you can accomplish when you have to think outside the box, my friends. I promise that it truly is a blessing and privilege to be so involved in every aspect of your wedding.

5. Accept help. I don't mean monetarily. What I do mean is that people will come out of the woodwork to lend a helping hand and you should feel extremely blessed by that (we did!). It made our wedding feel so special and intimate and heartwarming. I truly would not change it if only for this simple realization: Your loved ones want nothing more than to be helpful. We did not have a wedding planner (and that is another expense I would totally forego, although that is my personal opinion), so we relied very heavily on the grace of others. They did not disappoint and that is such a special memory from our wedding that we will cherish for the rest of our days.

Ultimately, your wedding is about you and your new life partner. The two of you will make choices and the rest will fall into place. Whether you're planning a black tie affair or a small, quiet chapel wedding (or something in between — like ours!), your wedding should be a true reflection of who you two are, as a couple and as individuals. I wish you peace and happiness as you embark on this new journey that kicks off a lifetime of marital bliss. Good luck and congratulations!

If you have questions or are seeking more specific advice (or if you simply want to chat), please, PLEASE email us. It would be our pleasure to talk to you and we love to hear from our readers: hellolivedin[at]gmail[dot]com

I could also craft a post that tackles more specific advice for getting married on a humble budget. If that would be helpful, please let me know in the comments!

Happy wedding day and beyond! XO

video: portland honeymoon 2013.

Song: I Always Knew by The Vaccines

(It may take a little time to load!)

10 pictures, 10 moments.

So as to not drag our honeymoon photos out for an entire week (because I'm pretty sure I might be the only person to enjoy that), I have chosen 10 photos from our trip and 10 moments to share with you. We had the absolute best time in Portland, Oregon. I think we mentioned what a blast we were having at least 5 times a day, everyday. We were blessed with the best weather and a family member who lent us his car for the entire week. We traveled that city up and down and around and around. Sometimes I'm still surprised by how much we did, but how relaxing the whole thing was.
1. On our first day in Portland, we ate at Little Big Burger. This photograph shows the exhaustion all over our faces. We had been up for so many hours by that point and we were walking around the city in a complete fog. This meal was one of our favorites and it was made especially delicious because we had hardly eaten anything all day. It was here that Jeffrey tried ketchup and enjoyed it, which is a big deal! It was really great ketchup, though, so I'm not crossing my fingers for a ketchup-loving husband anytime soon.
2. We stopped at Cool Moon Creamery Co. on our first night (shortly after we ate our delicious burgers and french fries) and had the best ice cream (Thai tea and salted caramel). We ate it on this little street park and were so excited for all the impending adventures we were about to have in Portland. I think we had a short second wind during that time and were filled with a burst of energy as we thought of the great blessing it was to be in such a beautiful city!
3. This big public art display just happened to be a collaboration between one of Jeffrey's favorite artists (Chris Johanson) and homeless youth. It was completely unexpected and such an amazing surprise. We were just driving through the city, looking for a parking spot when we stumbled upon this. Talk about good fortune!
4. We were taking the Columbia Scenic River Highway (which we highly recommend) and stopped off at a few different waterfalls. At the first stop (Wahkeena Falls), we enjoyed pork dumplings which we had grabbed from a food truck in the city. Then we made our way to Multnomah Falls, which is the second-tallest year-round waterfall in the United States. We decided to hike further up and on the sixth switchback, I cursed the idea. On the final switchback, we made it to a really calm portion of the waterfall. It was so incredible. We continued hiking and happened upon the most beautiful little waterfall I might have ever seen. It was so worth it and such a special little surprise.
5. We were lucky enough to spend one night at the Timberline Lodge, which was honestly incredible. It was snowing!! Big stuff for Florida natives. When we walked into our room, the entire window was blocked by snow. I kindly asked the front desk for a room change with a better view. They happily obliged and gave us a giftcard! It was so sweet and unexpected, we couldn't believe their generosity!
6. Bungalows and craftsman style homes are among our favorite and we are hoping to own one someday. Portland is brimming with them! Seriously, just when you think you've seen it all, you turn the corner and see about a billion more. For Valentine's Day I gifted Jeffrey a book full of Portland hill walks. We did one particular route that was so wonderful! There weren't so many bungalows, but a bunch of really beautiful Victorian homes and a few really modern ones, too. We just enjoyed walking around a neighborhood and picturing ourselves living there. The walk spilled into Forest Park, which is the largest urban park in the world. It was equally beautiful.
7. We had several delicious meals, but our favorite was Toro Bravo. I wrote about our venture to try and recreate a flatbread we tried there. (You can find that post here.) Jeffrey's boss generously gave us a giftcard there and we had a spectacular time. It was so, so memorable and we had a ton of fun watching the chefs prepare our food.
8. On Saturday morning, we headed to the Portland Farmers' Market located on PSU's beautiful campus. We went to the Pine State Biscuits tent and had a country fried chicken biscuit, a biscuit with marionberry jam, orange juice, and sweet tea. As we sat on the lawn enjoying the most delicious breakfast, we both talked about living in Portland and people-watched to our hearts' content!
9. One afternoon we stopped at Washington Park with a Fentiman's cherry soda and just took in the beautiful weather we were having. It was such a welcomed treat to just relax and do nothing. We had a really nice conversation as we sat on a park bench and just talked about life. Those unexpected conversations are always my absolute favorite!

10. Our final morning was spent at Lovejoy Bakers. We had drinks and breakfast and felt overwhelmingly happy for the love and support we have been granted throughout the entirety of our relationship thus far. We discussed plans for our future home (a bunch of pipe dreams for right now) and just enjoyed one another's company. I remember feeling really blessed as I sat in that bakery.

our wedding playlist.

Our favor for the guests at our wedding was a CD filled with some of our favorite songs. It was so much fun to put together and felt like a really personal gift for all of the sweet people who made it to our big day. It was really difficult just to choose a handful of songs! We wanted them all to be meaningful and we wanted to include a range so that we could appeal to everyone. We hope you enjoy it, too. :)

Below I have a version of the playlist, but Lost Without You is not on there because that's a song written and sung by my dad. You can buy it on iTunes, though!

part IV.

I'm sharing the portraits last, but it was basically the first thing I did when I arrived at our venue (Jeffrey had already been there most of the morning setting up). Our wedding went off without a single hitch, even though there was a 60% chance of rain on our day. Although it never did end up raining, it was muggy. The kind of muggy that can only really be understood if you've ever experienced the moments before a Florida afternoon rainstorm (or in our case, the rainstorm that never came). My hair started losing its zip the moment it met the air, but it held its own for quite some time.

I wasn't even going to share this with you, but I feel like it's unfair not to mention the single problem I had (because every bride has one, right?). By the time we were about halfway through the portraits that were taken before the ceremony, my hair was so terrible it's comical. At the time, it was anything but funny, but there are a few pictures to prove that it actually was worth a good laugh. Pictures that you will never see, my friends!

Jeffrey, being the sweetheart that he is, kept trying to tell me that my hair looked fine. But when my mom saw me, she had something else to say entirely (thank God!). I walked into the bathroom, saw my reflection (and laughed in nothing but terror), and plugged in my curling iron in to try and salvage the frizzy army of hairs on my head. But of course the plug did not work. Cue my dad stringing an extension cord into the bathroom window from outside and my mom making a mad dash to the nearest store that would offer the kind of hairspray that could make a sapling stand still in the fiercest windstorm this world has to offer.

And believe it or not, the combined efforts worked! As I mentioned, there are a few unfortunate pictures to prove that The Hair Incident did indeed happen (which most eyes will never see), but other than that, things ran as smoothly as imaginable. My momentary hair issue was nothing compared to the torrential downpour that could have (should have!) happened, so I thank my lucky stars for that one. So, now you know and we'll just keep that one between us. :)

^ Our first look was easily one of my favorite moments from the day.

^ He looked so handsome.

^ Our wonderful wedding party.
^ Jeffrey's grandparents. Absolute angels on Earth.

[i carry your heart with me[i carry it in]
E.E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by me is only your doing,my darling)
                                                  i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful,you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


I hope you enjoyed as much as we did! xoxo
- J&R

Just in case you missed out, here's a recap:

On Monday I shared some special words about our wedding day.

On Tuesday we shared photos of our ceremony.

On Wednesday we shared photos of our reception.

On Thursday we shared photos of the details.

* All photos by the incredible Kelly Kee of seed&sparrow.

part III.

Details. Oh details, details, details. In my opinion, the details make the wedding (if you're looking for visual appeal, that is). I love looking at the details of other weddings, but when it came to my own, I had hardly any interest in DIY projects that required any kind of significant effort. Thank goodness my sister and mom understood my vision because they took charge and never looked back.

When I walked into our venue the afternoon of the wedding, I could not have imagined anything more fitting or perfect for our day. It was like these people were walking around inside my brain! We had so, SO much help to make things happen. Our wedding was truly a team effort and a genuine labor of love.

My dad, my brothers-in-law, my in-laws, my SISTER'S in-laws, our friends, my mom, Jeffrey, my sister...these were all people that worked tirelessly on the morning of the wedding to make my vision a reality so that I could just sit back and enjoy. Such amazingly good sports, the people in our life.

One details story and then I'll get on with the pictures, I promise: We decided to order our centerpiece flowers from Trader Joe's (because they're flower prices are beyond reasonable, people!) and Jeffrey brought them to our hometown (where we were married) on Thursday evening. Mind you, we got married on a Sunday. Panic suddenly washed over me as I realized that they would need to make it through Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. On Thursday night, my family turned the air conditioning down to 67 DEGREES, chopped the tips off of flowers furiously and submerged the flowers into a homemade bleach solution so that they could make it to the big day in tip-top shape. We were finding buckets around the house willy nilly just so we'd have someplace to store all the flowers! We were completely delusional and slap happy by the time all the flowers had been cut and cared for, but they survived!! We only had maybe one or two hydrangea casualties along with a few others, but those little flowers stayed strong — bless them!
^ These flowers were recycled from my sister's rehearsal dinner and the cake carrier was gifted to me by my mother-in-law during our rehearsal.
^ Our guest table was filled with wedding pictures from both our parents and our grandparents.
^ We borrowed all the vintage tablecloths from Jeffrey's mom and my aunt. The bottles were collected from family members.
^ We gave our guests a mixed CD filled with some of our favorite songs.
^ What I saw as I walked in. It was amazing!
^ Hand cut hearts for each little cupcake.
^ My brother-in-law (sister's husband) made a ton of these paper chains and we made the tissue paper flowers over the course of a couple months.
^ Our cards basket ended up being really cute (thanks, Mom!) and the banner was handmade by my dad.
^ Jeffrey was given that tie clip by his grandfather. Minutes before the ceremony, we discovered that my dad had the exact same one (with his initial) given to him by his dad. That was a neat moment.
^ My sister gave me the gold locket on her wedding day and I filled it with pictures of my grandparents to carry in my wedding bouquet.


^ The blue bracelet was a gift from my sister (for my 'something blue') and the gold bangle is my mom's . My sister also wore it in her wedding.
^ The ceremony backdrop was completely handmade by my sister, my mom, my dad, my brother-in-law, and Jeffrey. We started it on Thanksgiving and did not finish it until a few days before the wedding!!
^ We had a ton of pictures from different points in our relationship.

^ More tissue paper flowers and some strawberry lemonade.


^ Jeffrey's dad also had pictures taken with a Patagonia patch at his own wedding. :)
^ I changed into my boots after the ceremony.

- J&R

* Ceremony pictures here.
* Reception pictures here.
* All photos by the incredible Kelly Kee of seed&sparrow.